ROSH HASHANA 5776/2015
This past May, I set out on a hike in Vermont...hoping to hike the Long Trail, 275 miles from the Vermont border with Massachusetts, going north thru the Green Mountains of Vermont to the Canadian border. I carried 30 pounds on my back including food, water, sleeping bag, tent and other essentials. I hadn't gone on a long hike like this in about 30 years.
I was really challenging myself and set out on a big goal. 40 years ago I hiked 600 miles along the southern Appalachian trail but for the last 30 years I have only car camped...not backpacked.
I stayed in three sided lean-tos or shelters at night. The trails were empty as it was still early in the season; there were a lot of downed trees from the very snowy winter and I encountered deep snow at higher elevations which drastically slowed me down. I averaged about 11 miles each day.
I managed, but each day I became more physically and emotionally drained. I walked 90 miles in total and realized and accepted that I needed to stop and conclude my hike after being out for 10 days. It was hard doing this alone and facing the challenges by myself. I also was alone each night except one and this added to the hardship and loneliness.
I set goals for myself and realized how important it was to make adjustments along the way so as to stay safe. I was careful each step of the way, not wanting to hurt myself or fall, even tho I sometimes did slip and fall. This hike was a big step out of the box, out of my comfort zone...away from my comfortable home and away from Alice.
I learned a lot each day and also recognized and accepted my limits. I am glad I went out, challenged myself and set a high goal. I am also glad I adjusted to the reality of my daily welfare and adjusted my goal in order to remain safe and healthy. It is important to set goals for ourselves...both achievable goals as well as goals which may need adjustment. And, it is important to constantly evaluate how we are doing...if we are growing or if it is too much.
Life is a path. Every step can be a challenge. Each moment presents an opportunity to be mindful of ourselves and aware of our surroundings and our situation. How can we continue to grow and learn from our experiences and from our family and friends? Often, we speak or act without thoughtfulness, without kindness, without compassion. Mindfulness is a practice of being careful with how we act and speak. We can recognize our moods before allowing our moods to control or determine our behavior or our speech. In this way, we can acknowledge how we are feeling before letting that feeling overwhelm us. So, for example, often anger can creep up and overcome us. By being mindful, we can acknowledge the anger as it appears and greet it. Then, by recognizing the feeling as it arises, we can refrain or control that feeling rather than being controlled by it. The goal is not to eliminate anger. The goal is to recognize and acknowledge it when it arises and then to take the important step of refraining and preventing the anger from controlling us and how we behave.
Our goal in life is to treat others as we would like to be treated..."veahavta lereacha kamocha" / "love others as yourself", is our Jewish teaching. Our goal in life is to spread kindness and compassion. Our goal in life is to be loving. This requires us to be mindful and refraining in order to truly listen and hear what others are feeling and thinking before we react in ways that are not compassionate. Seek first to understand!
This is hard...especially in situations that are difficult. And, especially when we are used to reacting in certain ways. We all have tapes which play in our head and cause us to respond in certain ways... with anger, with defensiveness, by turning the tables on the other person, by blaming. These tapes repeat in us, over and over again, unless we can overcome them and learn new paths, new neural pathways, so as to respond to situations the way we truly want to....with compassion and kindness. This takes practice, time and commitment. We must desire to change and grow if we are to be successful. Change is hard.
Let us all please take a moment to reflect on the changes that have occurred in our life this past year. Changes in our bodies; getting older; changes in where we live; changes in our relationships ...with our partner, our children, our parents. How are we adjusting to those changes? How are we reacting and responding to others, and to ourselves, regarding our life changes? Are we finding peace? Are we able to find compassion and kindness and forgiveness for others and for ourselves?
"Shana" means year. "Shenai" means change. Both words have the same Hebrew root. Life is about change. Every year we grow and change and face new challenges...joys and sorrows, gains and losses. The hardest question for each of us to answer is: How are we adjusting to our changing lives? Are we finding peace, compassion, kindness...even love, to guide us thru our challenges?
Let us all please sit quietly and reflect....on our year, and on our present, and on ourselves. Breath slowly and deeply. Feel your breath thru your nose. Feel your breath fill your lungs. Breath deliberately. And, listen....to your "kol dimama", to your "still small voice"...listen, to your inner voice. Are you deepening yourself and becoming the person you want to be at this moment in your life? How do I need to change in order to be the best I can be? What do I need to do in order to do my best? How can I listen better? How can I make my way to find compassion and kindness and understanding and forgiveness for others and for myself? Compassion, love and forgiveness are fundamental for our healthy survival.
As we open our eyes to this moment, we all can acknowledge the power of this new year, of this time of change, of this time of renewal.
May we all be successful in making this moment, this day and these ten days of "teshuva", of returning, of repenting, of transforming, of forgiving... a time of healthy change and growth. May it lead to inner strength and peace. amen and shana tova.